No, Never, No Way, LEAVE ME ALONE!
by Darknesse Sidhe
Summary: Hades's voice is a constant annoying buzz in Persephone's delicate ears.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own anything that crosses over with this FanFic.**

No.

No way.

No freaking way.

Stop asking me; my answer is no.

If I say yes, will you leave me alone? Then … no.

I'd rather date Ares.

Back off.

(Ignores Hades and turns to Aphrodite.) Ah … men. They think that "no" means "yes" and "go away" means "take me, I'm yours". (Pause.) Hades here can explain it to you.

No, I'm not playing hard to get, and no I will not date you.

If you ask me one more time, I will bring my mother into the equation.

Nope.

Nuh-uh.

In your dreams, pal.

Go to hell! Oh sorry, your life is already hell.

I said, NO!

Never.

Sure I will … NOT.

You know, I've always had a _thing_ for men who are suicidal.

Ask someone else, anyone else.

WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?

Are you really that desperate? Because you can't be that desperate.

One more word, and I shall personally throw you off a cliff.

Why would I want to date _you_?

Thank, but no thanks.

Not under any circumstances whatsoever.

You poor, delusional idiot.

I am the daughter of your much-hated rival, Zeus. You REALLY want to go out with me?

Yes, I agree that Cerberus is a pretty cute dog. But don't think this will help your chances of making me go out with you.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

I'd rather get run over by a pickup truck.

I swear, a Hydra would have better chances of getting a yes response.

You're as stubborn as a mule, but my answer is still no.

I give up. You win, Hades – you've annoyed me to the brink of insanity; happy now?

I'd really rather not.

I have plans that night. No, it doesn't really matter that you haven't even told me what night you planned on taking me out on; trust me, I'll still find a way to keep busy.

My mother would skin me alive … and after that she'd skin YOU alive. Not that I wouldn't be okay with that.

You won't get anywhere with this.

It'll never work out, anyways, so why don't you just stop trying?

I swear on the River Styx I have no intention of going out with you.

No, not even for one dinner.

I'll say yes when you stop asking.

Technically I'm the goddess of flowers, but in truth my official job is a female impersonator.

Of course … NOT!

No thanks, I'm good.

I'd rather not be mentally scarred for life, thanks.

I am going to flick you.

If you ask me one more time, I swear I will gather up all the other virgin goddesses – Hestia, Artemis, Athena – and we will destroy you. I will slowly pull out your toenails and then shave you and dip you into bubbling, burning oil. After that I will skin you alive and you'll wish that you had rabid weasels teleported into your big ugly fat head rather than having ever met me!

Ask Artemis. You'll have a better chance with her.

I will destroy you.

*CENSORED*

That's it, Hades, SECURITY!

If you are not gone in three seconds, I will take the point of this diamond earring which you have so thoughtfully given me and I will shove it into your eye. One … two … three ….

MOM! You-Know-Who is annoying me again!

You know, I once saw this movie about Greek Mythology where Persephone took her daddy's lightning bolt at threw it at Hades. He was knocked out instantly. That was funny. I think I'm going to try it.

I hope you like nightmare world!

*WHACK* "OWWWWW!" "It's called Karma."

Gold is my favourite colour because it's the colour of godly spilt blood.

NO FREAKING NO!

YES, explode, YES!

… And how do you know I haven't secretly hired Hermes to implant an explosive eggplant in your spleen?

Yes, I'll date you, but first you must sit through my fascinating lecture about praying mantises. Did you know that female praying mantises eat their mates after they're done with them? And it's the same with black widow spiders ….

Hecate has recently showed me a simply amazing book series called Harry Potter. *CLEARS THROAT* Avada Kedavra.

*TWITCH*

Thank you for the wonderful necklace, you're my favourite _Uncle_ ever!

They say that gods can't die, and yet look at Uranus. You know … I've just very recently joined a secret society called the Godly Experiments. Would you like to be my test subject? Our latest project is seeing if gods can be converted to mortals …

Watch the Disney movie Hercules first. Then I'll think about it. I'll say no, but I'll think about it. Or, pretend to.

I'd rather kill myself, but I wouldn't anyways, because then I'd STILL be stuck with you.

Watch in wonder as my Venus Flytraps attacks you and slowly squeezes the life out of you.

Let's celebrate New Year's together! We can watch the fireworks together. I'll attach you to a firework and then set the string on fire, how does that sound?

I've decided to join the Hunters of Artemis.

YOUR VOICE IS STUPID.

Your voice is a constant annoying buzz in my ear. Get thee gone, woman, and find someone else to harass.

HARASSMENT!

Of course I'll go out with you, just as soon as I join the Amazons of course.

Hey, can you test out this pudding I made? The recipe contains Stygian water, snake venom, mashed poisonous Amazon tree frogs, and raw tofu. My first attempt at cooking, and I want you to try it.

I'm curious; how many times did you get dropped as a baby, exactly? Oh wait, you grew up in your daddy's stomach! So, how many times did you dad eat radioactive waste, the kind that disfigures and mutates people?

Hi, welcome to the out-of-bounds center. You must be lost; don't worry, the Total Moron center is just over there. You can get there by simply jumping off a steep cliff and free-falling.

Your face is depressing.

*SIGH* Your brain must have a very small capacity. Now … let's try that again, slowly this time so maybe the message will actually get through to you once: NO. Do you hear me? One word: NO. HOW HARD IS THAT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND?

Look, I've got a shotgun!

*TWITCH, TWITCH*

By the Styx, Hades, what's wrong with you? Halloween is over; you can take the mask off. Oh wait, you're naturally like that?

Hey, wanna hear a secret? Come here. AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I've rejected you politely, I've rejected you snidely, I've screamed in your ear, I've insulted you, I've taunted you, I've been a jerk to you, and I've slapped you just about fifteen times, and counting. Do I have to _murder_ you to get you to leave me alone?

The words are like a melody in my head, that I can't stop saying, got my chanting like, go-go-go-go would you go the hell away, like my screaming mind's stuck on replay, replay.

**Should I do a second chapter?**

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own any fandoms that may or may not cross over with this.**

Dating me probably isn't such a good idea. How do you know I won't stab you in the back when you aren't looking, or secretly release ghosts from the underworld while you're asleep, or quietly begin to plot your untimely demise once I'm your girlfriend.

I'd rather date a satyr.

I'd rather date a centaur.

I'd rather date my own dad!

Sorry, but I'm straight.

Hey, Hades! I've mentally created a story that I want to tell you. If you sit through it all the way to the end, I will date you. Okay, here it goes: Once there was a girl called Persephone who wanted to tell a story, so she said, Once there was a girl called Persephone who wanted to tell a story, so she said, Once there was a girl called Persephone who wanted to tell a story, so she said ….

Date _you_? Perish the thought!

In your dreams. Oh wait, in my dreams I'd _still_ be rejecting you because that's all you've ever gotten from me! Ha! That's funny.

Your face is hilarious in a very offensive way to yourself.

"Tell me – do you ape from your mother's side or your father's side?" "Cronus and Rhea are your grandparents." "And my question was rhetorical, fool."

I'd rather get shot by one of Apollo's arrows. A thousand times over.

I will begin to date you one the day someone decides it would be funny for you to be blown up into itty-bitty god bits and scattered across the universes, never to rejoin again. Oh wait, that day is today! *KABLAM!* Thanks for letting me borrow your lightning bolt, daddy!

"No." "That's harsh." "So's your face."

Only if you wash your hair for once, put it in curlers, wear makeup for the rest of your life, bow down and kiss both Zeus and Poseidon's feet twenty times a day, carry neon-pink pom-poms with you wherever you go, floss with cotton candy, set your castle up in flames in a huge bonfire for all the spirits of the Underworld to dance around, put on a clown afro, and wear pink for the rest of your life. The complete list is right here. (Brings out a list that reaches from Olympus to the bottom of Tartarus.) So, will you?

What the Hades are you Hades-ing doing, you big Hades-ing fat Hades-ing dot-head man? (Pause.) I've recently decided to replace the F-word with your name.

Leave. Me. The. Hell. Alone. And I don't care if you are Hell anyways … oh wait, you're hell. Why would I want to date hell?

When the angels passed over you on your birth, I was told by Apollo that they accidently dropped a boulder on your small puny pudgy head. Apollo's the god of truth and prophecy. He doesn't lie.

As soon as I find a blender big enough, I will set it on high and push you in.

And soon as I find a good-enough spiked, poisonous three-trigger barrel gun, you are so done.

And how do you feel about that?

And how do you feel about being rejected every five seconds?

"You shot me right through the heart." "No I haven't, that's Cupid, but if you really want me to …" *BANG* "Ow …."

"How would you like to date me?" "How would you like to be mutilated and maimed beyond recognition?"

Persephone: "Mother, may I please have a bunch of adamant threads and a needle?"

Demeter: "Of course my dear, why?"

Persephone: "I'm going to sew Hades's mouth shut."

Demeter: "Cool, can I watch?"

Hades: "Uh oh …"

"You slayeth me." "Yes, I am, with a sword."

*SLAP*

I think Aphrodite was in a bad mood when she decided to sculpt your face.

I would date you, but I think you're stupid. The two-letter word "no" just can't seem to filter into your impressively small brain.

Ask me later. Can't you see I'm busy trying to figure out how to effectively kill a god right now?

Do you _like_ being kneed repeatedly in a place where guys shouldn't be kneed?

Sure I will, right after I destroy you.

I'd rather make out with a Hydra.

I'd rather go suicidal.

GET AWAY FROM ME, MEAT-HEAD.

*^%$#% ^$#$%%& (**$%

"Hi my name is Hades, how do you do?" "Hi, my name is I-Will-Not-Date-You, I'm fine thanks."

"But if you date me, I'll make you rich!" "MOM, Hades called me a p*o*t*t*t*!"

(Laughter.) You are an idiot.

Nada.

"If you date me, I will take away all your pain." "No, I think you'll just add to it. Besides – hold on. How did you know about that painful bobbing that jabbed my finger this morning? Was it because of you that it was just painful, or is it because you stalk me?"

The sight of you is painful to my eyes, your voice is painful to my ears, and your presence is so painful I think I'm going to blast you to pieces now. That would end my pain.

I think I'm going to throw up!

OH THE HORROR! Oh wait, it's just Hades.

I have just very recently learned that Black Adamant mixed with demon blood is very painful. Hey, where are you going?

Go away.

You're joking, right?

Haha, how very not funny.

Why don't you move to Antarctica? You'd blend in perfectly with the penguins.

"I'm allergic to flowers." "You're the goddess of flowers. "Whoops, I meant that I'm allergic to flowers from _you_."

Well, I do need a new guinea pig ….

GET OUT OF MY FACE!

You've picked a bad time to ask me, Hades. We're in a kitchen. A kitchen full of glass, knives, blades, porcelain, my rage, and various other things that could be used as a weapon. Hmm …

Persephone's Poem:

For a long time I've been looking for someone like you,

With a head like yours and a torso too.

Birds sing and you will PAY,

For all the asking and asking and asking you did today.

Now here's a piece of meat covered in barbecue sauce!

"Now here's a piece of meat covered in barbecue sauce! I hope it hurts as it fuses with your inferior flesh." "Why would it fuse with my flesh?" "Because you suck, that's why."

Dating me would be taking me away from my mother. The Furies, your own servants, would destroy you. (Pause.) You know, I would enjoy that irony. Okay, I'll date you!

Persephone's Second Poem:

I hate you,

I hate you,

I hate you.

If only you'd feel the same way too.

Then we could live on in peace,

And you would explode.

"Artemis!" "Yes?" "Would you like to help me slap Hades?" "Has he been bothering you again?" "Uh-huh." "Then … YES!" *SLAP, SLAP, SLAPITTY-SLAP-SLAP SLAP*

Right after you look up the word "incest" in the dictionary.

I think I'd rather turn into a tree like Daphne.

Sure I will, right after you take a vow of chaste and virginity.

You arse.

First there is Father, then there is Mother, then there is me and my friends, and then there are guys who have not lost their dignity like your have, and then there are various other creatures of varying states, and then there are marine bottom-feeders, and then there are rotting corpses, and then there is waste, and then there is toxic waste, and then there is plankton, and then there is you.

One day, you'll loose your temper and slap me across the face. On that day, I will double over laughing, "I told you so" while my mother murders you, you regret it, and look on in shame.

Look, I don't want to be mean to you, but you won't stop leaving me alone, and I have to. If you would just stop asking for once, then maybe we can be … slightly hostile acquaintances who speak coldly to one other and more or less avoid each other. Yes, I like that idea; at least it would be progress!

You stay here while I go and stab myself repeatedly in the eye with the poisoned end of one of Apollo's arrows.

"Once there was a girl named Rachel who lived in a book series who had a blue hairbrush that she threw at a big, mean Titan who wanted to kill everyone." *TOSS* "OW!" "Once there was also a girl called Persephone who was a Greek Goddess and had a black metal hairbrush that she threw at a big, mean god who wanted to date her and WOULDN'T LEAVE HER THE [**CENSORED**] ALONE."

I will never, ever date you. Do you hear me? NEVER!

Styx, why don't you buy yourself a life? I'm sure there's some on Ebay that they're selling cheap, or you can borrow one off someone else. You have plenty of souls in the Underworld, why don't you just steal off them?

Your destruction will be my salvation.

The one who blows you up will be my hero.

I'm not playing hard to get. I'm playing, Hard To Get and Will Easily Destroy You.

Aren't you supposed to be killing something or something?

Aren't you supposed to be shamming your subjects and living off the pain of their souls or something?

Aren't you supposed to be terrorizing little children or something?

**That was fun (for me and Persephone, not Hades). The next chapter will be more script.**

**Did you notice that this chapter had way more talking than the first did?**

**A virtual cookie to whoever figures out which fandom Persephone's first Poem originated from.**

**A virtual cookie to the first one who reviews this chapter!**

**Review if you want the next chapter to come out!**

**REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own anything that may or may not cross over with this FanFiction.**

**I know I said this would be in script, but then I changed my mind.**

**And thanks to Empty Thoughts for betareading chapters 2 and 3 (this chapter).**

"I would go out with you, but I'm afraid of death." "… But you're a goddess." "Thank you so much for stating the obvious. Yeah I'm a goddess, so?" "You can't die." "I will die of horror if I look at your stupid ugly face any longer." "You can't die!" "No, but you will as soon as I find a knife sharp enough to inflict long-lasting pain."

"I'm the god of the _dead _anyways, not death. Thanatos is death." "So is your breath."

"You're a zombie, aren't you?" "Why would you think that?" "Well, you're the god of the dead, and I do believe that cutting off your head would effectively silence you."

"Will you go out with me?" "Fine, but I'm warning you that I cost a lot." "That's okay, I'm the god of wealth." "That's not what I meant. I meant, if you want to date me, then you first have to kill yourself. I am worth a god's life. Once you kill yourself, then I'll think about it."

*SIGH*

*Ignores Hades and turns to the road.* Taxi, taxi! If anyone's willing to run this guy over for a million bucks, call me!

"Call me." "Your face is stupid." "Umm …" "I'm calling your face stupid."

*HISS*

IN THE NAME OF ZEUS, STOP ASKING ME!

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Be destroyed.

"I would do anything for you." "Go jump off the Golden Gate Bridge."

Pathetic. You're the god of death. I thought you were supposed to be scary?

I'll let you in on a little secret – I'm actually a cannibal.

That's it, Hades! SECURITY!

*Screaming audible in the distance.*

I… hate … you.

*Persephone opens the door. Hades is standing there. Hades opens his mouth. Persephone shuts the door in his face.*

RELEASE THE ROCKS!

I've decided to say yes. My time with Otrera has made me realize that husbands make dazzlingly good slaves. So, on with it, are we?

"The cat goes scratch." *SCRATCH* "Ow."

*SCOWL*

Gods forbid.

Heavens forbid.

Fates forbid.

Olympus forbid.

Demeter forbids it already.

WHY OH WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE.

*Despairing.*

*Stares at Hades for a long, long time.* I think I'm going to take Eros to the physiatrist.

Sure I will. Just wait while I get my guns.

*GROAN* Why don't you ever stop asking me?

MOM!

So I'm guessing you HAVEN'T looked "incest" up in the dictionary yet …

I'd let to get to know you better. So tell me, is there anything you are, say, fatally allergic to?

What's your weakness? TELL ME YOUR WEAKNESS!

Yep, Jason the chainsaw dude should be here any minute. You'd better run, Death Boy.

How fast can Death Boy run, huh?

(Starts laughing and then stops.) Oh, you're serious.

Mom hired Hecate to put a spell on me. The next boy who tries to make a move on me will EXPLODE.

*BOOM*

*WHAM*

Wow. Where DID you get that face? eBay?

That's it, you're toast. Just, you know, literally. *Turns around. *Arty, start up the giant massive toaster!

Was it fun being burnt to a crisp by my totally rockin' toaster?

Don't you just hate it when you get punched into the gut?

*PUNCH*

*SUCKER PUNCH*

"All I ask is permission to kiss the ground which you walk upon." "…WOW. And here I though you couldn't become any more of a loser."

Your deathly aura rejects me. I am the goddess of flowers; naturally your aura would kill any plant life I may try to grow.

How can you NOT understand the words "I hate you"? Ares can understand that, and his skull is thicker than three hundred of you's lined up in a row.

Oh yes, and imagine what I'll be like in three years' time: 'I used to have a life, but then I started dating the god of death.'

*FACEPALM*

Why are you so thick?

I am going to kick you in the place where guys should not be kicked. Although … I highly doubt you're a guy.

"Have we met before?" "Uh yeah, only about SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN TIMES THIS PAST MONTH ALONE BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT ASKING ME OUT EVERY FRICKIN' FIVE SECONDS!" "Wait …you counted?" *Facepalm.*

Thanks to you, I have mastered the art of facepalming. So, thank you. Now here's a cream pie to the face. It's infused with snake venom. Hope you enjoy your reward!

My knuckles are grazed from the so many times I've had to punch you to get you to shut up.

OH LOOK IT'S THE DEAD DUDE!

I was out camping with Athena today, and I broke a nail trying to climb a wall. I scraped the excess keratin off with my other nails, and now I have a jagged edge of a nail. I was in the middle of getting a nail clipper when I realized that a jagged, sharp nail that can break skin would be really, really useful.

Do the words "death threat" mean absolutely nothing to you? *Pause.*… I guess not.

*EXHALE*

OH THE HORROR – oh wait, it's just Hades.

Your voice is making me sick.

Your face is making me sick.

Your presence is making me sick.

"Sick… with love!" "Really? I was actually thinking … sick with disgust?"

"Don't pout, you look ugly. Well, ugli_er_." "That hurt." "WOW, you're strange." "?"

"Narcissus has more brain than you do, and he always thinks of himself." "Narcissus is dead …" "Like your ego, and you in five seconds."

… What a surprise.

Are you stalking me?

Meow, meow, meow, and then the Death Boy EXPLODES. (Insane laughter.)

Thanks to you, I've been driven to the brink of insanity and my mom's hiring for me a psychologist. For ruining my life in this way, I WILL DESTROY YOU.

I've been previously researching various methods of torture. Wanna hear some?

I wish you would blow up already.

I have a baseball bat.

It's a good thing I have a baseball bat.

"Wait– how did you manage to fit a baseball bat in your purse?"*Cue evil laughter.*

**Four Notices:**

**One: So, which one was your favourite?**

**Two: The chapter after this will be the last chapter, although if you people really like it you can ask for a sequel where Hades kidnaps Persephone and tries to convince her to marry him.**

**Three: I like ice cream.**

**Four: Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Is it even possible to disclaim Greek Mythology? I mean come on, it's not like someone actually owns the religion of the Ancient Greeks.**

… **Although that would be pretty cool.**

**I'm very sorry I haven't updated in so long. Probably everyone who favorited or followed my stories before the postage of this chapter don't even go on this site anymore. My sincerest apologies, but at least with the postage of this chapter, I can finally say this story is finished.**

**Thank you to Empty Thoughts for betareading chapters 2 and 3 a million years ago. Did I mention that already?**

Are you STILL stalking me?

You're … alive? WHY MUST THIS BE?

I don't feel well. In my head, I mean. I do believe I have gone mentally insane since you started asking me out.

Please don't. It's highly embarrassing to be seen in public within 100 feet of you and … you're only five feet away!

DIE. JUST DROP DEAD. I SWEAR TO OLYMPUS!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And nothing you can say can make me!

Demeter will rip out your godly stomach, burn it in a sacred fire, and throw it into the depths of Tartarus. You'd still be you, you'd just not be able to digest things ever again. I hope that is painful.

What in Zeus my father's name is wrong with Eros and Aphrodite?!

Yes, of course. Haha, just kidding.

You were the first born of my dad's siblings, right? The first to be swallowed by Cronos, right? Hmm … that makes sense. I imagine you were a hideous baby.

Sorry, but I have much better things to do. Such as, sharpening my knives, completing my one-hundred-and-one-ways-to-kill-Hades list, testing out my fourth-century torture weapons, performing experiments on test dummies, and planting flowers to make the garden look pretty.

*REGURTIATION*

"You scare me sometimes." "Really?" "Yes. But I love you anyways." "… I hate you." *Smiles.* "I know."

Nobody likes you. I certainly don't.

"…." "What?" "I hate to say this but … you've asked me out so many times I've run out of comebacks." "Really?" "No."

Please, Zeus, please … kill this man standing in front of me.

Flowers? How dare you bring me flowers! Are you trying to me by bringing me flowers? Huh? Is that what you're trying to do? Say I'm not a good flower planter by giving me flowers?

A necklace? Why, it's beautiful! Give me to me. I'll strangle you with it.

Stupid godly filth that won't leave me alone.

"I dislike you." "That's great!" "…?" "You dislike, not hate me anymore." "DIE."

No! Stop! Leave me alone! I do not like being around people like yoooooou!

Did you know? I'm a cannibal.

What a wonderful time you've chosen to visit! Please, come in, and let me introduce you to my mother, Demeter. Please feel free to talk about anything to each other. Mother, I'll be gone for about half an hour; I'm going to Aphrodite's to get my nails done. Please make dinner while I'm gone. The kitchen knives are just over here ….

It was a wonderful day going on for me until you appeared.

*RETCH*

Does this ever get tiring for you?

Is this not embarrassing for you? Asking to take me out again … and again … and again … and always getting rejected?

No, boo-hoo. Run home crying. I believed the guests have arrived at your pity party.

*SIGH.*

This is getting old.

Dear Eris, my wonderful darkling – um, darling – half-sister. This is Hades. Isn't he cute? Now flirt with him and love him and get married to him so he doesn't have an excuse to bother me anymore. What? You can't? That's awful! Okay, there's another one I'm crossing off my list ….

….

Again?

"This time, I'm not going to take No for an answer." "What? HOW DARE YOU CONTRADICT ME!" *SLAP*

Are you fatally allergic to anything? Please tell me so I can fetch those objects.

Shut up. I'll drown you.

Shut up. I'll stab you.

Shut the fudge up. I'll fudging throw you into the fudging sun, god fudge it!

Go eat fudge. … Actually, I'll go with you. I like brownies and chocolate.

*BARF*

"Hello, my name is Hades, your future boyfriend." "Hello, Hades. Pleased to meet you. My name is Persephone, and I'd like to introduce myself as your future murderer."

I'll go on a date with you, I'll let you be my boyfriend, and then, on a day you least expect it, I'll strangle you with my long braided hair. I hope it hurts.

"May I stab you?" "Yes. Just let me get my morphine."

Gods probably can't die. But I'm pretty sure they can feel pain.

What is wrong with you?!

"I'm making a list of the things I like. Sunshine, lollipops, flowers, and rainbows … and Hades – " "Oh, yay!" " – when he's in Tartarus and not bothering me." "…."

"Hello, Persephone." "Oh, it's you … ew."

"Hello, Persephone." "What do you want?" "I've come to say goodbye." "_Goodbye_? Where are you going?" "… So, you do care!" "NO I DON'T." *CRASH*

"Hello, Persephone." "Oh no, not you again."

"Hello, Persephone." "WHAT IS IT?" "… Someone's in a cranky mood today." *CRASH*

"Hello, Persephone." "What now?" "I've come to say goodbye." "Not this again." "No really, I really am going." "Oh, really?" "Yep! I'm throwing myself into Tartarus!" "WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!" "Well, you did say … that you'd like me when I'm in Tartarus and not 'bothering' you." "… And here I thought you couldn't get anymore pathetic."

Bad news. I got back from the Olympic Council today and Zeus said that if you're thrown into Tartarus, the Underworld would become chaotic, and he'd blame me and throw me right after you. What a cruel, cruel, cruel world this is ….

The gods must hate me. Oh wait … oops. I forgot I was a goddess. Hehe ….

"At our wedding, you can – " "Be the flower girl." "That's not what I was going to say. At our wedding you can – " "Murder you in your sleep." "Um … no. I wasn't going to say that either."

"I've decided that I'm going to kill you someday. I just thought it would be fair to warn you beforehand." "You concern is truly touching. I am honoured ~ !" "…."

*VOMITS*

"Persephone, Persephone! Guess what? Today I swore on the River Styx I won't ever leave you alone unless you date me!" "WHAT?!" *CRACK* "Owww … the pain … my poor arm …." "My poor life!"

Mother! Come see what Hades swore on the River Styx and then kill him for me, okay?

Why would you do such a thing?! I'm doooomed ….

I was so touched I felt the bile rise in my throat.

Just … just … just stand over there. Please.

So … you're not going to leave me alone unless I date you. … … … FINE! BUT ONLY ONCE, YOU HEAR?! JUST TO MAKE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!

….

….

…. Fine.

Yes.

But just once.

And remember that someday, I will still destroy you.

**So that's it.**

**I have been asked to make a sequel, and though I did consider it, in the end I decided not to. I don't think I'd be able to pull it off and still make it as funny as this one (not that I think this one was very funny), and you all know how crappy I am at updates.**

**That wraps up this story. Reviews? This is your last chance!**


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